In a recent Reddit post, a user shared her internal dilemma of keeping her boyfriend a secret from her racist mother.
The Racist Mother
Sarah says her mother is racist. She says she mocks accents, perpetuates stereotypes, and lacks of empathy regarding the consequences of her actions.
She Kept Her a Boyfriend a Secret
With her mother’s biases in mind, Sarah decided to keep her South Asian boyfriend a secret to shield him from her hurtful behavior. Her boyfriend is also aware of her mother’s racism.
The Story Begins
The problem began when Sarah showed her mother some pictures of her pet on her phone and mistakenly showed her a photo of her boyfriend and puppy.
“Just a Friend”
When her mother inquired about the man in the photo, Sarah’s initial “just a friend” response failed to convince her mother, as she knew Sarah rarely invited anyone into her home.
She Admitted It Was Her Boyfriend
So finally, Sarah admitted that he was her boyfriend and that they had been dating for a long time.
Her mother became quite unhappy and demanded to know why she hadn’t told her.
Ashamed of Her Racism
Sarah didn’t explain the reason right away, but finally, she told her that she was ashamed of her racism.
Her Mother Refused to Speak to Her
The aftermath of Sarah’s confession proved to be tumultuous. Her mother refused to speak with her, and others rallied around her mother, providing significant challenges for Sarah.
The Mother Was Well-Liked by Everyone
Sarah shares that her mother was well-liked by the community as she had organized soup kitchens and dated black men, so nobody believed that she could be racist.
Boyfriend Is Up to Rebuilding Bridges
In an attempt to mend the strained relationship, Sarah’s boyfriend encouraged her to reach out to her mother.
She Didn’t Approve
However, the conversation took an unexpected turn when her mother expressed her disapproval of Sarah dating a South Asian man.
Mom Prefers East Asian Descent
Her mother suggested that she should pursue a relationship with someone of East Asian descent.
Unwilling to Tolerate Her Behavior
Enraged by her mother’s racist remarks, Sarah blocked her number, signaling her unwillingness to tolerate such behavior.
Doesn’t Want to Be Told She’s Racist!
Sarah took to Reddit to ask whether she was in the wrong for what she did, and hundreds of comments poured in supporting her.
One Reddit user wrote, “Just because a person dates black men and does good things for the community doesn’t mean they can’t still be racist. Sounds like your mom didn’t like being told about herself. She knows she’s racist… She just tries to convince herself she’s not.”
She Did the Right Thing
Another Redditor commented, “You are right about your mom. You are doing the right thing by your SO, and your mom refuses to self-reflect and see how her behavior is harmful and racist.”
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