In a recent Reddit post, a user found himself caught in a dilemma concerning his 19-year-old daughter’s wedding. Here’s the full story.
His Daughter Was an Independent Thinker
Throughout his daughter’s life, Bill has encouraged her to be an independent thinker, a quality he has always admired.
However, a recent disagreement has caused tension between them.
She Doesn’t Want Him to Walk Her Down the Aisle
His daughter, now engaged, has made it clear that she does not want him to walk her down the aisle.
She Gave Her Reasons
She argues that being “given away” is an antiquated tradition that implies ownership, and she believes that her parents have no right to control her life choices.
He Was Hurt
Feeling hurt by this decision, Bill emphasized that he and his wife have never treated her as an object but rather have strived to provide her with a fulfilling life.
To Bill, his daughter’s stance appears extreme.
She Didn’t Change Her Mind
Despite engaging in discussions, she remained steadfast in her decision. While he respects her choices, he feels that she is disregarding his and his wife’s feelings entirely.
He Made a Decision
As a result, he made the difficult decision of not contributing financially to the wedding if she insisted on excluding him from walking her down the aisle.
He Believes It’s His Right
He does not want to be seen as controlling or manipulative, as he understands that he does not “own” his daughter. However, he believes that he is not obligated to fully fund her wedding either.
She Can Take Care of Her Finances
If she chooses to maintain her position, he suggests that she assumes responsibility for the financial aspects of the event.
What Being Independent Really Is
According to Bill, independent thinking doesn’t mean being rude or selfish.
An Independent Thinker
And being an independent thinker does not give someone the license to disregard or disrespect the thoughts, feelings, or perspectives of others.
It’s About Being Respectful
Bill said that independent thinking is about maintaining the ability to think critically and form one’s own opinions while remaining respectful and considerate of others.
It is a balance between asserting individuality and engaging in meaningful and respectful interactions with others.
Is There Room for Compromise?
As a result, Bill took to Reddit to ask whether he would be in the wrong for his decision and more than six thousand comments poured in with split views.
Independent People Pay Their Own Bills
Many Redditors sided with Bill and said that he was not wrong. One Reddit user wrote, “You heard her. She is independent. Independent people deal with their own bills.”
He Was Being Controlling
Another Redditor commented, “I don’t understand people saying that if you’re contributing money to the wedding you get to control it. I have always seen paying for a wedding as a gift to the couple. You don’t put conditions on gifts. Your ego is getting the best of you.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / SabOlga. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.